3 years

Today its 3 years since i started over again.

the decision to start over, to get up, in spite of only being a shell of what I knew myself to be was a hard one. Not only courage was needed to get up, nor was it only strength. Much much more was needed. I can’t lay claim to those, but through having the nothing, what I did cling onto was hope and faith. faith that I could be. Hope that there was more out there.

and all of that had to happen before the physical date that I did the action. The getting up was the difficult part, the part of reclaiming myself. But all of that was essential to reverse what was happening – my slow death, the death of my spirit, of my soul.

I had to take for me. I had to do for me. I started to do what I hadn’t in more than 10 years. I started to look at my own needs, at what I wanted. take time for me, self-improvement.

And I started to get up again. Still a shell. But i did what i needed to in order to preserve the shell that there was.
And I got up. and I got up.
and I started over again

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