Am I just pessimistic and can’t feel the happiness around me? Why can’t I shift and feel it?
I so easily get bogged down in what is wrong, finding fault, even with myself. Yes, self-improvement is important, but I need to see the good too. And on a certain level I do. But I am engulfed by pessimism.
Yes, sometimes I feel happy, more now than ever before in my life.

And when in the midst of difficulty I focus on making things better. And I do. But when things are better, why can’t I feel that they are better and enjoy the better place I find myself in. Why is it that I look for the worst quality and focus then on improving that. Is that a personality trait that I should keep or try to eliminate?

It takes away of the enjoyment, the enjoyment of the now. And I don’t like that. Why can’t I feel it. Everyone around me can. And they can even see it in me. So why can’t I feel it.

How does awesome feel? I don’t know. Fleetingly I may feel lots of good things to a climax, and then its gone. And then I’m left with the question of what’s next. And it’s not even a conscious move to look for what to improve next. What is still wrong. It happens without any thought going into it.

Is that pessimism?

I need to be able to shift into positivity, at least some of the time. I need to move to enjoy fully where I am right now in my life. Because there is so much good around me. And yes, I am happy with my life, that’s without a doubt.

But …


2 Responses

  1. day by day im finding myself becoming a negative thinker…people around me are getting affected,my work is affected,almost everything is affected…..i know i have to help myself become more optimistic….day by day, little by little….im trying…..

    • Keep trying, more than that you cannot do. At least that’s what I find. I remind myself of the positive, use that as motivation, and keep trying. Every step is a step closer to where you want to be.

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