Not down, tired

An accurate reflection of what I’m feeling right now.

When looking at me today you will probably think I’m down. But honestly I’m not. I’m just in a quiet place. Very internal. Reflective. I’ve gone into myself and drawing strength from within.

But its different too. It’s not that I’m needing to go in to build walls, nor because I am hurting. Its more that I am finding the strength from inside me to deal with the passing of loved ones around me. Appreciation for what I have in my life. Appreciation for having Allah in my life. Appreciation of the rebonding with my mom which has just taken leaps and bounds, no, actually it has flipped, double somersaults back to what was.   

Went to janaazah this morning. Ina lilahi wa ina ilaihi raji’oon.
Tomorrow will go to another funeral.

Appreciate the life which is around us. Appreciate the love.

We draw strength from those around us. Truth creeping through and showing from unexpected sources. Beauty in places we do not look. Inspirational messages all around. But what do they really mean. Is that what you need?

I need ME.

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