Truths and Contradictions

Something valuable always ends up to the attention, ears and eyes, of everybody.

The best of anything, we keep it for ourselves. Rarity is the measure for value. When everything is visible, known to everyone, under control,who would bother to go and search for the “one-of-a-kind”?

– Except it was so easily shared with me!!!

Two things always in life to be remembered. (1) Don’t take any decision when you are angry (2) Don’t make any promises when you are happy.
Fighting with the world is easy, You either Win or Lose. But Fighting with loved one is Difficult, If you lose, you lose and if you Win – you still lose.!
Success also hurts, when you don’t have a loved one to wish you.
And failure also looks beautiful, when you have your loved one to support you.

– I have so quickly learned this to be true. and with many people around it makes hills and mountains so much easier to climb.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

A catch-22 we find ourselves in. How do you end a never-ending loop ended.

 

And with me it was shared. My bestest friend shared with me. She wanted for me the happiness she experienced.
Exactly what I did not have in my life.

I am wanted and needed. I do not doubt it (most of the time).

But at the same time my mere presence takes away and that which is not gotten causes pain. That which always has been. Is it just adjustment pains? How long do we take to adjust?  Does it get easier with time?

How am I not to feel guilty for what is lost? For what is not received?

How do I reconcile what is lost by those accustomed to receiving.

And even more how do I feel for what I do not get or what I want or what I see happens elsewhere but not with me.

How do I combat the feeling of me being short-changed… but maybe its ok because I did not have it? – No it’s not! Because I am also a whole person with feelings. Who was promised not to get less.

How do I fight the feeling that the extra which is gotten is not appreciated.

How do I fight the feeling that I want more when I know there is no more to give. That the giver is giving all that can be given and being stretched to beyond limits. And pulled in two directions.


    OR
    

How do I fight the feelings of discomfort and pain which I experience for not getting.

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2 Responses

  1. I can only imagine how difficult working everything out logistically, spiritually, and especially emotionally must be. At times it must be so draining for you all.

    How do you guard your friendships with each other? I have read so many stories where the friendships get lost in the emotional fall out of working things out.

    You ask a lot of good questions. I hope you can find the answers! Your needs are important too!

    • the balance is very tricky, and slowly with time things changes and dips are smaller. Thankfully.
      but one constant is the very strong foundation of friendship and love for each other. I am greatful that this has not faultered.

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