Haunts of the past

We carry on
we battle
we think we move on
and then it hits you again

why, time and time again
does it slap you in the face
when you least expect
when you don’t see it coming

wiping the smile off your face
and you don’t even know why you lost it
all you feel is pain

pain of a time long gone by
but right now all you feel
is the twisted gut wrenching pit
at the bottom of your stomach

tears swelling
spilling over
irrational fears
hitting a nerve

a nerve which I thought was severed
dead
buried
non existent

rational thoughts try to counter it
but not enough to lift you to happiness
the smile does not want to break through
light doesn’t want to shine on me

and then I realise
everything is different
nothing is the same
the fears are nothing but silliness

coming from a place
which no longer has bearing on my life
no effects which need inner protection
so I can divulge


and most importantly

I LOVE and I am LOVED
cared for, treasured
just because I am ME

😀

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